Render Your Heart

“Rend your heart and not your garments.” Joel 2:13 (beginning). I guess because I relate to visual imagery that descriptive phrase made me pause and want to know more and consider what that might look like. As an “orderly” people, it would be a break in our tradition to have these outward signs of tearing of clothing as a part of the expression and release of grief and sorrow. Tears yes, but tears? This passage in Joel is usually associated with Ash Wednesday, the beginning of Lent. I knew that rending, or tearing of one’s clothes was an outward sign of someone’s deep sorrow or remorsefulness. Keriah is the Jewish ritual for rending of garments before the funeral of a family member. For close relatives, the cut should be visible and on the left side, close to the heart. The act of tearing may act as a psychological release of anger and can serve as a symbolic severance of family bonds. The cut should not follow a seam, instead ripping into the clothes as a scar and not an accidental unthreading. The call in Joel to rend your heart and not your garment is a plea to invest your heart and not merely to follow rituals or attend church as a superficial demonstration. The heart for the ancient Jew was the seat of emotion, intelligence, understanding and feeling. It was the heart that gave direction to the brain and not the other way around. To invest one’s heart was, and is, to surrender all that one has.

My prayer for the congregation?

Dear God, You call us to return with full devotion and intention. You ask us to tear off our outer shell and allow our hearts to be opened and changed. We are so cautious and protective; it seems we are unable to let our guard down for inner revolution because we know the consequences are life-changing. We are proficient at choosing the correct words, showing the right emotion, and following the roles of good church goers. But you ask more than that, you ask us to be Christians. Let us return to the Lord with broken hearts made whole. Amen.

12 The Lord announces to his people,
"Return to me with all your heart.
There is still time. Do not eat any food. Sob and cry."
13 Don't just tear your clothes to show how sad you are.
Let your hearts be broken.
Return to the Lord your God.
He is gracious. He is tender and kind. He is slow to get angry.
He is full of love. He takes pity on you. He won't destroy you.
Joel 2:12-13 New International Readers Version (NIRV)

The Servants

One of the best things about church, some people say, is not the worship services, nor the music, it’s not the study, nor the wisdom delivered by the pastor, but it is the support received from fellow members. For those who say they can worship in nature better than inside a building, I can understand their sentiment from a visual and emotional standpoint; one can’t help but stand in awe, considering the evidence of God in every blade of grass and sparkling glacier crystal. But it’s hard to know the tactile and poignant side of the church unless you have relationships with other people. One of the most amazing gatherings of Christ-followers is the Servants Class in Broken Arrow, Oklahoma. I know of the class through my sister’s journey and relationship. As a group they have a commitment to each other to study, pray, travel, have fun, engage in mission work, nurture and support each other through every phase of life. She no longer lives in the area, but in their eyes she will always be within their encircling care. Even though she lives five hours away in another state, they wanted to honor their promises to her and her family, the children raised with their care as baptismal parents. I attended the baby shower they gave for my nephew and his wife and we were treated as royalty and family, all at the same time. While the gifts were wonderful, the decorations delightfully elegant, and the cake divine – the lasting impression is that I was reminded of what an extraordinary group they are. It seems they know just the right thing to say, or perhaps because they've helped each other through so much, sometimes nothing has to be said at all - just a look in the eye conveys so much trust and compassion. It may sound adulating and exaggerated, but there is something unique and consecrated about them and I couldn’t help, as we left, wishing she were closer to their nurturing and challenging care.

My prayer for the congregation?

Dear God, You are the one we seek. We witness the beauty of nature and our response is praises to you. We witness the enduring circle of life, and our response is praises to you. We witness the care and love by your people, and our response is praises to you. Let us be known as remarkable people, earning that designation through thankfulness shared openly, study shared fervently, prayer shared faithfully, labor shared generously, care shared frequently and love shared abundantly. Let us strive to be Christ followers and doers, walking and working in relationship with each other, always moving together, towards you. Amen.

"His master replied, 'Well done, good and faithful servant! You have been faithful with a few things; I will put you in charge of many things. Come and share your master's happiness!'" Matthew 25:23

Newel of the Soul

The word sent today from a.Word.a.Day e-mail was newel. Sometimes the words are familiar, sometimes I can’t pronounce them, and sometimes they connect. Newel is a center column that supports the steps of a spiral staircase. Oddly enough, the connection that came to my mind was a staircase in Santa Fe, New Mexico that has no newel. The story is told that as the Loretto Chapel neared completion, it was realized that a terrible design flaw had provided no stairs to reach the high choir loft, and there was not enough room for normal stairs to be built. The Sisters of Loretto called in many carpenters and architects who suggested either using a ladder to reach the loft or tearing down the upper floor and starting over. Instead, the Sisters decided to pray to St. Joseph, the patron saint of carpenters, and on the tenth day an old carpenter appeared who offered to build a staircase. He had minimal tools but over several months built a circular staircase that rises 22 feet to the choir loft with no visible center support and when originally built had no hand rails that could have provided support for the staircase. The 33 steps make two 360-degree turns and uses wood not found in the local area. After the staircase was built the carpenter disappeared and despite searches by the Sisters, they were never able to find, or thank, the carpenter who had built the “miraculous” staircase.

My prayer for the congregation?

Dear God, You are the strength of our days. You offer support even though it may not always be tangible or visible for questioning eyes. We know of the inner sustenance you provide that fuels our ability to face another day with conviction and graciousness. Let us learn to lean on you, and trust your will instead of probing for absolute sure-footing. Your structure of love provides our sanctuary and peace. We are able to rise above our limitations when we come to you in prayer. We come in humble prayer to praise your miracles in the world and in us. Amen

S&T Factor

When I was looking for something else, I found a sack with some books I had bought several months ago. One of the books is named Surprise Me: A 30-Day Faith Experiment and details the journey as the author’s daily prayer was simply three words, “Surprise me, God!” Terry Esau is not afraid of challenges or change. The author is in the music industry and has a personal theory called the “S&T factor” which states his belief that if there is not at least one person who Squirms and Twitches when they hear it, then toss it out, it’s dead. A phrase that has given him energy and courage over his career, and that he shares with leaders, is: “Incrementalism is innovation’s worst enemy.” Boy, just reading that made me start to squirm and twitch! He believes that if we are trying to ease our way into change, “same our way into something different,” in a way in which no one feels uncomfortable, then the original momentum will be diluted, mutated, or derailed. Maybe this advice works well as attention-getting music for TV commercials or radio jingles, but how many other venues can really apply this advice??? When you are problem-solving in mechanics, if you make too many adjustments at once, you don’t know which the key to the correction was. It’s best to be slow and deliberate. When you get into the pool are you more likely to dive in all at once, or walk down the stairs trying to adjust temperatures in stages? Was Jesus more likely to apply the “Steady as She Goes factor” or the “Squirms and Twitches factor” as he taught? Perhaps there will be more than just children fidgeting in the pews if we are willing to be surprised by God.

My prayer for the congregation?

Dear God, We are surprised by your Grace. We are wary of sudden revelations but impatient with lesson-filled wanderings. We want to maintain our position. Help us to let go of the comfort of familiarity and learn to value the uneasiness of the mystery. Help us to discern the changes that are your will, and to bring them about with strength and devotion. Let our own thoughts be subject to your authority and release our conditions to your vision. Even though we prefer to be in familiar surroundings, let us be open to travel, challenges, revisions and change as we encounter you in new ways. Surprise us, God! Amen.

Impulsive

Did you know a new pencil can make a line 35 miles long? My friend downloaded Trivial Pursuit onto her ipod and we answered a few questions so that I could see how the nostalgic game is meeting a new technology. When I was answering the question about the pencil I wanted clarification: is it a golf pencil, is it a hard-lead or soft-lead pencil, and is the surface smooth or pebbled? Of course no one could offer those further explanations and we found ourselves remembering the adage when taking a multiple-choice test, “follow your first impulse.” It’s amazing how many times that proves true in Trivial Pursuit. There are times you can throw out one answer and you have a 50% chance of getting the right one, so your odds have increased to pick the right one, but you still have to make the choice. For the question above the choices were: 1 mile, 35 miles, 10000 feet. In my faltering math I had a hard time converting feet to miles so I focused on 1 mile or 35 miles. I chose correctly! Personality tests reveal I have an INFP profile (Introverted preferred to extraversion; iNtuition preferred to sensing; Feeling preferred to thinking; and Perception preferred to judgment). Wow! Seeing it all together, even to me, sounds like I live in a constant state of impulses! I know that plans are helpful, but I also know that plans are subject to change, and in fact should be expected to change. There is still something about that first impulse that makes you gauge your decisions afterwards. Often it’s not the first impulse I have a problem with, but the second step – what you do about the impulse.
“Faithful discipleship has nothing to do with your first impulse; it has everything to do with your second impulse.” – Laurie DeMott

My prayer for the congregation?

Dear God, You are the catalyst for ideas, plans and works that bring the world closer to healing and wholeness. Let us open our minds and hearts to receive the promptings that will allow us to give more than expected; More of ourselves, our gifts, our time, our energy, our thoughts, and our hearts. Give us the next longing to fulfill these desires. As we work side-by-side, gifts balancing gifts, we can provide the planning, or the intuition, that the next person requires. Together, our efforts will go the extra mile towards showing and sharing the Love of Christ. We cannot fathom how far the possibilities will take us. Let us not second guess your will, but honor that first gesture of invitation. Amen.

"Great things are not done by impulse, but by a series of small things brought together.”
– Vincent VanGogh

Toys in My Hands

We have three temperatures that we monitor on our computer desktop: Dallas, TX; Grand Junction, Colorado; and Williston, North Dakota. #1 son moved to Colorado in the fall and is working for a company that shuttles him between Colorado and North Dakota every two weeks. Williston is about 20 minutes from Montana and 20 minutes from Canada and he said a lot of the landscape is like west Texas, which in my mind means there are not many hills or trees to block the arctic fronts from blowing across the plains. One of his goals was to move somewhere cooler than Texas, which he has, and I know he’s handling the temperatures much better than I would. He must think that the cold is all we ever ask him about, but it’s so foreign as I watch the weather and consider it a warming trend when Williston makes it into the 20s. I’m giddy for them! I sent all kinds of outerwear, down-filled ice scraper mittens, and thermals for his birthday and Christmas. I had to make a conscious effort to send something fun as well because all I could focus on was the difference in weather. He assures us that he is managing the climate quite well. The past few days we’ve had 70 degree weather that makes us invent errands to run outside in January. I would like to visit him in North Dakota, but I’ve made the stipulation that it has to be above 40 degrees for several weeks, so maybe July??? However I will be quite envious if he gets to see Northern Lights (Aurora Borealis). What a gift that would be!

I remember frequently sitting on the doorstep of our home when the sun was blazing, the air on fire, grapes being trodden in a large house in the neighborhood, the world fragrant with must. Shutting my eyes contentedly, I used to hold out my palms and wait. God always came – as long as I remained a child. He never deceived me – He always came – a child just like myself, and deposited his toys in my hands: sun, moon, wind. “They’re gifts,” He said, “they’re gifts. Play with them. I have lots more.” I would open my eyes. God would vanish, but His toys would remain in my hands. – Nikos Kazantzakis autobiography, Report to Greco

My prayer for the congregation?

Dear God, You lavish us with gifts and grace. Let us open our eyes to see the beauty around us and savor in its splendor. Let us appreciate those wonders around us: snowflakes and sunbeams, ice cream and hot tea, mountain slopes and coral reefs, blanketed white and waves azure, crackling fires and misting fans, dancing lights and sparkling stars. Let us remain as children in awe. Amen.

Fair to Midland

That word “reality” keeps butting its head against my own. It’s not a highly unusual word so it’s not necessarily peculiar or mysterious that it should appear within my reading, but the word juts out of a sentence as if I were wearing 3D glasses. This time it came from a blog written by Bruce Reyes-Chow, the moderator of PCUSA. In his first six months he has tried different forums and methodology to ensure voices have a place to be heard. He’s probably been a part of more discussions and heated ideology than I will ever hear in my lifetime, and I appreciate his sacrifice to jump into the fray when he could be home with his girls. Heated arguments have a polar magnetism effect and I am repelled away from them. Raised voices, interrupted sentences, and red cheeks have never swayed me towards a side. Maybe because I have such a hard time making up my mind about something as simple as an ice cream flavor, I find it hard to understand how people can be so sure of their decisions, creating a rigid stance, and feeling adamant that others agree with them. I am a middle dweller and will forever see to the left and to the right of me. (Isn’t that one of our first life lessons as we are taught to cross a street? “Look both ways, and look again!”) Bruce talks about a vertical middle way, not one yielded from apathy or resignation in a lateral move between the two sides.

I would like to think there is this Middle Way, a place where a great number of our people do not simply succumb to a particular posture, but embrace it. And while the existence of the Middle Way need not be proved to me per se, I know I am not the only one that struggles with the idea, reality and/or efficacy of the Middle Way. The Middle place I yearn for though is not one that is borne out of our weariness of the discussion; it is borne out of a discovery of larger common understanding of our Reformed faith that remains healthy, prophetic, compassionate and faithful.

My prayer for the congregation?

Dear God, You stand in the center of love and reach out to us from all sides, gathering us towards you. Let us be drawn together instead of becoming islands of principles; inhabitants in isolation and distance. Give us patience when ideas become crowded and create respect for those surrounding us. Let us pay attention for commonalities that will surface when two or more meet and offer thanksgivings for these bonds with our brothers and sisters. At our core, we love you, and want to honor you. Help us to live in the center of your will. Amen.

* Farmers from rural Texas, say that the phrase "Fair to Midland" actually expresses "good, clear, great, as in clear skies and weather," not "so-so." They say it originally meant, "The weather is so nice and clear you can see all the way from here to Midland" (Midland, Texas, that is).