When Does it Get Hard to Forgive?

In the book, My Grandfather’s Blessings, Rachel Naomi Remen recalls a Yom Kippur service which has held a special meaning for her. Yom Kippur is normally a day when the rabbi speaks of God’s forgiveness as the congregants contemplate their shortcomings over the past year. Instead of the anticipated sermon, the rabbi picked up his one-year-old daughter and held her as he told about the meaning of the holiday. Throughout the sermon the little girl was a typical adorable toddler, reaching for her father’s nose as he spoke, putting his tie in her mouth, and enjoying the attention that was being given to her. The entire congregation was engaged and engrossed by the smiling, flirtatious little girl who reminded them of a cherished child in their own family. Over the top of her head the rabbi said, “Think about it. Is there anything she can do that you could not forgive her for?” As if on cue, the little girl reached up and took off his eyeglasses. The rabbi and the congregation had a good laugh, but as soon as things quieted down the rabbi asked, “And when does that stop? When does it get hard to forgive? At three? At seven? At fourteen? At thirty-five? How old does someone have to be before you forget that everyone is a child of God?”

My prayer for the congregation?

Dear God, teach us how to forgive. Sometimes it seems more profitable to withhold forgiveness and retain our control and our power when we feel that it is within our rights. We have been wronged and we want the other partner in this reality storyline to share our feeling of hurt and pain. If we could review our transgressions every year, would we be able to put some to rest? Could we set a time limit on grievances? Could we clean out our personal cases as judge and jury at the same time we relinquish unworn clothes? Could we give others the same latitude that we hope for ourselves? Could we remember what a child of God looks like? Could we increase our love so that there is no room to harbor resentment? We can, we pray, with your mediation and intervention. Amen.