Caring Enough

If we want to go deeper, however, desiring that as God’s people
we will grow together toward maturity,
we must care enough to confront.
Isabelo Magalit, Filipina theologian

Today's prayer won't be so much for the congregation. What's the saying? If you point a finger at someone else you're pointing three at yourself. When I opened this e-mail devotional from Sojourners it hit me like a slap in the face. “…we must care enough to confront.” Luckily I'm pretty good about turning the other cheek and letting bygones be bygones! No need to get all worked up over something that could more easily be ignored. Another of my great super powers besides indecisiveness is conflict avoidance. "A cat likes fish, but doesn't like to get his paws wet." Who needs fish??? There might be bones, it will make the house smell, and I don’t know how to cook fish anyway. “We must care enough to confront.” I like to think I have cared enough to confront my kids when they needed correction, or that I have cared enough about a friendship to make amends, but sadly the percentages show I have an underdeveloped understanding of confrontation. I can read inspiring quotes, and I know the benefits not just for myself but for all of those involved, but when it comes to opening my mouth the words get swallowed up and I turn heel to hope that the next time my back bone isn’t pure jelly. “We must care enough to confront.” Of course by the time I do work up any courage, my words sounds more like an apology rather than constructive language working towards a measure of accountability. The final impediment is that whenever my stress level gets too high my crowning defacement is impulsive, unfounded tears. Egads! It would be rather touching if the tears came from a passion of conviction, but more often they come from incapacity to cope. How practical is that? Talk about losing leverage. “We must care enough to confront.”

My prayer?

Dear God, You so loved the world that you gave your son, confronting our salvation through his life. When I think about how meager my own attempts at reconciliation and partnership are I am filled with disgrace. I’m not even sure what to ask for God. Is it courage? Is it confidence? Is it being open to care deeply, passionately? It is so much easier to live at an arm’s stretch away; a protective distance between my world and my neighbor’s rather than being intimately connected with others. That might require my time, my heart, my involvement. It might mean disagreements along with collaboration; times of confrontations along with times of jubilation. It might mean we were maturing into your grace. We must care, O God. We must care deeply. Amen.